Thursday, 19 April 2007


Crying is something that I have given a lot of thought too. What is crying?, tear drops running from your eyes that are caused by your feelings, that, to me, sums it up. So, the fact that a film or drama can bring that wetness to the eyes show that I have feelings, but, does the depth of my feelings show in the amount of my tears?.

There are two songs from the 50s, seldom heard nowadays, "I Believe" and "Answer Me", both by Frankie Laine that have the effect of bringing those tears, but, not when I hear the same songs by other singers, so, it isn't just the lyric, and, I don't particularly associate them with anything, so, where do the feelings come into it?.

Unlike the song "Bridge over Troubled Waters", again, only by "Simon and Garfunkel", and two hymns, "Abide with Me", and, "The Lords My Shepherd", that each have a special memory for me, but, again, it is only a wetness to the eyes.

I have never cried. I have never had unstoppable tears running down my face. Is there something wrong with me?.

My mother died when I was eight years old, I well remember my father telling me, I remember nothing about my life prior to this. It was many years later when my older sister died, still a young woman, I did not cry. I did not cry, with joy, at the birth of my sons, or, the death of my father, or, the death of my stepmother. I did not cry at the death of my wife.

Is real heart breaking crying necessary?. Does it show the depths of your feelings, pain, or, loss, or, are we only crying for ourselves?. I do remember hearing the words, "boys don't cry", but, I wish that I could.

Since writing this post I have also asked the question on the forum at the website, With permission of the posters I copy part of their posts.
Paul-Allan Sovib."From personal experience of people who do not show emotion is due to something cognitive in their life. You say you cannot remember back past when your mother died. To an eight year old child that would have been devastating and from what you explain this is where your life stopped and restarted emotionally. Mate you have the ability to cry and show emotion but you yourself it would seem have stemmed the flow. Its not about balance its about not wanting to be hurt again, it is a defence mechanism, that is why you also find it hard to understand a God. You refuse to accept anything into your life that will hurt you ever again. You have heard of children who refuse to talk or cannot talk when they lose a parent tragically, well this is no differently need to revisit that time when it all happened to find out what went wrong, maybe through hypnosis will help. Then again your will is that strong and developed you may reject that and wont happen no matter how hard you try. I pray a window will open for you one day mate. But if it bothers you seek help. If not try praying even if you don't believe, I have seen that work.".Skryer One, "I talked to a doctor about the inability to cry. He said that some people do not cry because it has to do with emotional balance. Some people are just not affected enough to do so, but it doesn't mean their feelings are invalid. Just balanced. Some people's emotional barometer swings sharply and one side of the swing is crying. Apparently there are other means of emotional venting, that makes crying unnecessary. If I'm not mistaken, crying is instinctive, like laughing. You may not trigger this instinct which has little to do with emotion and more to do with reflex. You might not hold negative emotions in all other respects so when the trigger comes to cry, you don't have a reserve of emotion to vent.". have found the members of this website forum to be very prepared to give their personal views that often help.

Added by Anjelika100, posted via," Since I am the opposite, crying 'at the drop of the hat' as they say, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE SOME THOUGHTS. To me, crying is the way to release the pressure of the emotions -ether happy or unhappy. Tears are like heart bursting open. This process ends with the wonderful sense of peace, of full acceptance of the situation. Similar process exists in nature - tears of Nature is the rain. The rain with thunder and lightning ends with the serene peace, very tangible-if you care to observe. As I grew older I realized that crying is accepted by our society as a weakness. So I consciously suppressed tears, and then after some period of 'abstinence' I noticed that this suppression builds a wall between my 'persona' and my inner psychic core. This wall does not allow things from outside to touch me deeply, and I felt like a zombie. Heartless. So I let myself cry again WHEN I feel like, because it keeps me in touch with what I REALLY feel, and not what I AM SUPPOSE to feel. Inability to cry from my point of view shows some kind of a block in the emotional body. It can be accessed through hypnosis".

What do YOU think?. Please add your comment or, e-mail me at, and I will add your comment. It requires as many views as possible to make this Problems page helpful to all.

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