Thursday, 19 April 2007

HOW long should you grieve?.

How long should you grieve?.

Sudden death of a loved one must be the greatest shock possible, but, the loss of a loved one, even though you have been given advance warning that this will be the outcome of an illness such as cancer, and feel prepared for the passing, will leave you with that journey that follows.

The pain of grieving. This is a journey that you will, and, must take. You will not be prepared for the thoughts that will enter your mind, you will not be prepared for your actions, you will not be prepared for grieving. You have never faced these problems before, you have never had to ask the questions, you have never had to seek the answers.

Trust this, your feelings and actions, that in the past were alien to you, are normal.( for a more detailed account of the problems and possible answers please visit the website, ).

But, how long should grieving last?.
There is no laid down period, we are all different, we all had different loved ones, we all have different memories, we all had different circumstances, so, we all have different periods of grieving.
This grief is just another part of your life. Life is made up of many parts. There was the part where you were a babe in arms, the toddler, the child, the teenager, the first love, the wedding, the children, the good times, the bad times, etc, etc, and all of these parts are now tucked away in your mind. You moved on, you closed the door on each part. At anytime, you, can open that door and relive that part.

Now, you are at another part, it is only another part, not the end, you still have life to live, and, even though you might not think it now, it is ahead of you.

This does not answer the question, how long?. The answer is personal to you, you will know when to move on. Young or old, you will meet someone, maybe for love, or, maybe just for company, and than, you will have to ask yourself a question, "Am I grieving for my lost loved one, or, for myself?".

Please note:, I am not a counsellor and my entries on this site are personal observations, I don't know if they are right or wrong, but, I do have my own experience of bereavement.

Your comments, observations, suggestions or questions are very welcome. Please leave a comment, or e-mail to,

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