Thursday, 19 April 2007

Sexual feelings after the loss of a loved one.

I will try to be honest. You are not dead, it was your partner that has now gone. You are still alive and so are your normal feelings and urges, it would be unusual if those feelings returned the following day, but, who is to say that would be wrong, there is no "laid down" time scale for any part of that period that follows the loss of a loved one, remember, I am trying to be honest, and, so must you to yourself.

This is not the question that we would, or could, ask to our friends and families, so, as in most case's, we keep it to ourselves, only to further confuse our minds. Lets try to talk about it on the privacy of a website where anonymity remains.

There is another item on this site that may help with making contacts, but, lets presume that you have met this person. You have got to know him/her, and you were happy with the comforting cuddles that you shared on meeting or leaving their company. The cuddles become more often and get a little tighter, their hands hold you a little tighter and your faces are closer.

Cheek to cheek is only an inch or two from lips to lips. now you feel different. Sexual feelings are aroused, and, you break away, because, you ask yourself, is this right?, am I being unfaithful?, is it too soon?. Good questions, and probably at the right time.

Nature has programmed our bodies to have sexual feelings for the continuance of life, so, it's doing its job, but, a sexual relationship is also a show of love, and, a pleasurable thing. Is it love, or, is it something else. There is no act that can bring you any closer to that other person . Is it the thought of simply being held, and, holding that is on your mind?, or, is it love?.

You, and, only you , can make your next decision. Your mind is already filled with the thoughts about, unfaithful/right/too soon, maybe that is also one of natures programs, Maybe this is a thinking time, and don't worry, you will make the right decision.

I haven't answered the question "How soon to have sex after loss of a loved one?", I can't answer the question. There isn't one simple answer to the question.

Please, if you have a view, let me know. YOUR view may help others.

Addition posted by "Skryer One" One, posted this,"Intimacy starts out side the bedroom, and sometimes it ends up there. Is anything done for true and pure, well intentioned love bad? When I hear the word shame used in connection with another human, another child of God I want to howl at the moon and savage someone. Mankind made sex shameful. Your Bible says to not make much of material earthly things. Sex is one of those things, it is of the physical body. It has nothing to do with how spiritual , how kind or loving or compassionate you are. It has nothing to do with how moral you are. Is giving up breathing moral. No, it's suicide. It's a natural function that we will no longer need one day like breathing or eating. We live it behind because it is an EARTHLY matter that your own Bible said not to be concerned with, stop putting so much over importance on it for your own sake, sweetie. Let the heart of your spirit guide you, that's where God is. Ditch the shame. It interferes with your communication with your source. Sex is a natural progression of a romantic love. Humans require affection like they require air".The forum at is a place where you can ask, and get a variety of replies, to any question, "Religion & Spirituality" is an interesting forum.

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